Week 10 : A dreamy pregnancy

Apparently morning sickness is supposed to be getting better this week and I really hope so as last week was the worst so far - sick and dizzy almost all day and unable to keep much down. On one day I ran to be sick in the kitchen and got so dizzy I ran slap bang into a wall!

However, Friday I seemed a lot better and since then, although I have had minor waves of nausea, I mostly seem to feel OK. The tiredness is extreme however and I am sleeping for about an additional four hours a day at the moment! As a result I am having more dreams - I tend to remember my dreams anyway and they tend to be fairly epic in scale and content, however they are now way stranger and more epic. There are the normal pregnancy type dreams - having miscarriages, having GIANT babies, having huge amounts of babies, giving birth to weird creatures and in weird situations and so on. But there are two that really stand out that weren't really related to pregnancy and they were so weird they deserve recording...

Dream 1 : Mushrooms

This started with John and I walking with our two young children up an Alpine pass towards a house on the mountain side that I knew was Mum and Dad's house. Getting to the house there was no answer when we knocked so John decided back down to the village with the kids and I would wait for Mum and Dad there. I kept knocking and, finally Dad's voice came from an upstairs window - I couldn't see anyone and we chatted for a bit, the whole time with me walking backwards trying to see in the window. Eventually Dad comes closer to the window and he is a giant talking red cartoon mushroom and this seems completely natural to me! We carrying on chatting for a bit and then he told me to go down to the fete and he would meet me down there. As I turn away he turned blue and a small red mushroom appeared carved on the windowsill of the house. I wandered down the hill and soon noticed I was walking beside a series of ornately carved grates (they had "Birthday celebration tunnel" engraved on them with leaves and animals) in the road and, as I got level with them a blue shower of sparks would shoot out of them. Peering down the grate, I see dad/mushroom shooting down the tunnel and the blue sparks are caused by his passing the grates. He gets ahead of me and I carry on down.

Getting to the village I find an empty fete with Mum guarding the stalls - her stall contains hundreds of different size/shape/color paper cake cases and really ornate paperclips. I spend a while chatting with Mum and then say "Where is everyone?". She explains that they are up the opposite hill in the courtyard and that I should hurry or I may miss the countdown. I am confused and she says "Don't you remember when you were kids?" I don't but head off anyway.

At the top of the hill, there was a giant courtyard filled with people who were unhappy and mean and horrible. I could see John and the kids at the front, so I pushed my way through and, as I did people started counting down from 10. When they reached 0, a hole opened in the ground and Dad/mushroom shot out up high into the sky and landed on the podium at the front.

He said "Thank you all for coming. I can see there are much more than last year but I will do my best" and then exploded into a million little bits which fell on the crowd. As they touched people, they were absorbed and people had epiphanies - people how were unhappy as they were in debt realised what they needed to do to get out of it, suicidal people remembered loved ones and basically everyone was happy. When one landed on me I had the feeling of a hug and turning round I realised it was my Dad in human form. I gave him a big hug and John, Dad the kids and I all headed back down the hill to see Mum. When we got there, I asked why she hadn't attended and she said she didn't like to watch the ceremony. And then I woke up...

Dream 2 : Suicide Cult

This one was much darker and I had it this morning - It started with me waking in hospital having tried to commit suicide. It hadn't worked and it took a long time to recover but while waiting I realised that there was a market for guaranteed suicide and that I could provide it. I invented devices that were like a sword, the hilt being within a half dome of metal and the blade being cross shaped (ie if it was pointy end towards you, it looked like a cross). They were attached to a machine that meant that, when stabbed with the sword, there was no blood and the person stabbed would then decide when he would die - they could die immediately if that is what they wanted, if they wanted to die at home, they would die until the point when they got there, if they wanted to die in their loved ones arms they wouldn't die until they got to them and, most importantly, if they changed their mind, they would not die until their natural time was up.

I set up a stall in a market saying I would kill people for £10 - they had to verify that they were over 18 and tell me why they wanted to die and then I would kill them. The machine seemed to change me so I didn't need to eat, sleep or drink and a queue soon built up of people that wanted to die. Over years a religion built up around me, they built a office/temple behind my stall and provide a secretary who sorted out forms and recorded peoples information. They took dna samples so remains could be identified and those who had no relatives left were disposed of in the basement. Trends began to build up and, there was a marriage bureau next door we would get couples who went to get married then went to lunch and then joined the queue to die together. It became more and more ritualised - people knew to tell me their stories before death and so I lost the ability to talk. At times, people who were upset (understandably but I couldn't understand in my dream) would attack me but I had somehow become immortal.

Sometimes, as well as killing and listening to peoples stories, I was also a person in the queue - the first time I couldn't go through with it so I left the queue, the second time I wasn't allowed as the tests performed by the secretary showed I was pregnant and the last time I went hand in hand with John and we both died.

There was never any pause in the queue, even in the dead of night until one day there was only one man in the queue. He was a journalist, writing a story on how the queue was waining and in order for the article to work, he had to die at the end of it so he wrote "and I died", handed me his notepad and I killed him where he stood.

There were no more in the queue and I waited for a while and then walked into the deserted temple behind me, the first time I had moved in hundreds of years, put the swords on the floor and smashed them completely, took the symbol of the religion that someone had given me and hung it above a double door and walked out the back and into wilderness. I wandered for years, just letting my soul absorb all the stories I had heard over the years and finally decided to return to civilization. But it was chaos, I had killed everyone with imagination and inspiration and only dull, lazy morons were left. And then I woke up...

Now, if anyone can tell me what the hell they are supposed to mean I would be most grateful!